As the days start to meld together I find I am able to define my time easier by the books I’ve been reading. I couldn’t tell you what I did last week but I could tell you that last week I discovered a sneaky plot derived by a crooked tavern keeper to thwart a you Scotsman from liberating the coal heaving gangs in London. See, my book choices here are limited to what the wonderful beach bound BBC ladies bring, thusly devour and inevitably leave behind. I mean really, would you want to take home that trashy romance novel or a Tom Clancy epic with you? Thankfully no!
In between deep philosophical thoughts from the Tao, teaching yoga, and hanging out with the wonderful ladies of Bikini Bootcamp I’ve had the pleasure to pour over a few murder mysteries involving disappearing swimsuit models, romance novels starring wolverines, vampires and valkyries, and a few pages involving freedom and liberation in 18th century Scotland. All in all…pretty awesome.
Needless to say my mind has been craving a little academia, a little critical thinking and depth. Here’s where the yoga part comes in. I’ve taken this need into my practice and realized that no matter what I need at any point in my life I can find it in my practice. A year and a half ago after leaving an unfulfilling relationship with a man that I loved deeply I found myself a wreck, in need of love, support, confidence, and mostly understanding. Just as my friends were there for me so was my practice. I found that all of the emotions I was battling were easier fought on my mat rather than in my head at 3am. Off of my mat all of those things I had learned on my mat now came into play.
Being able to tap into my breath to get through a difficult moment or remembering that just because something may be arduous doesn’t mean I don’t possess the ability to rally strength and make it to the other side. I found love, compassion and gratitude towards myself as I had never known in the months that followed that breakup. Lately, I find what I need is intellectual stimulation and challenges. My practice continues to give me that both on and off my mat. I set boundaries on my mat during my physical practice. I push myself to find my edge and explore, listening to my body and heart to tell me how far I can go. I can take this idea into my everyday life and set boundaries, realistic ones mind you, regarding work and space…lord knows this girl needs her space.
These days I find my practice more intellectually stimulating as my awareness of my body deepens. I can feel muscles, tendons, ligaments and joints move, shift and support. This gets me thinking about the anatomy of the body in relation to poses differently than I have been. This influences the way, or how and what, I teach and hopefully works to make me a better teacher. I know…ramble ramble ramble…my point is this (especially for those of you just starting your practice):
Your practice will always give you what you need even if you don’t recognize it at first, even if you don’t want it, and especially if you don’t know you need it.
I’m doing just the thing that turns me off to blogs. Too many words, not enough pictures.